Are you… ?
don’t you feel lonely
and my favourite, where is your husband
Yap, random questions I get when saying I’m traveling alone. Initially those were irritating me gigantically but with time started to laugh at those and was finding ironical responses for them like, are you not bored, nope I get to spend time with the most fabulous person ever – myself 😛
Yap, random statements I get when saying I’m traveling alone. Not hiding it is flattering but I don’t think I am any of the above. I only do what I love most, which is traveling, exploring and experiencing as I feel alive then. Selfish how it may sound but my Dad used to say “take care of yourself first then others”. After a couple of years I have to admit the Old Man was right.
Now what comes out when we add Are you and You are? Passion, determination with a pinch of craziness and lots of patience to make peace with yourself and learn how to feel good in your own company. The first time when I went away for longer it was to the UK for a summer job – yeah as the majority of Polish people in 2006. First month was OK, new place, new job, new people. From month two it started to be a struggle. I got more and more homesick to the extent that I started to count down the days to come back, which had a negative impact on the job and the people around me because how can you make others happy when you are not. Second time when I went away for longer, it was in 2008 for a student’s exchange programme to Singapore.
Well also got homesick coz I was missing my partner who stayed back in Poland but a lesson learned from the previous trip was to try and enjoy the time you are away to learn and see something new especially as this was South-east Asia, a please where I haven’t been before. Which I did… OK was also counting down the days to get back home but with the difference that I didn’t sink into depressive thoughts and self-pity instead and thanks to my friend PRS who I lived with in the same dormitory I enjoyed the time in Asia. Together we laughed, travelled and had fun… she actually showed me that you don’t need a travel agency to organise a trip you can do it yourself… 2018 was the third time I went away for longer, much longer one and half year to be precise I didn’t miss home at all, OK blood sausage maybe coz you can’t get that in Hong Kong but aside from that I squeezed the time there to the last drop. What changed between the first and the last trip… a world. I grew emotionally, learned how to be happy in my own company and my perspective changed from nervous teenager to more chilled out teenager, yeah sometimes I still feel like I’m 16 😛
Not saying that I was completely alone, as I met fabulous people, job was great and Hong Kong was very welcoming but at the end of the day when you leave the office, party, meeting and return to your apartment it’s only you and you alone, which is fine. I learned that the mind and the way of thinking plays a huge role in the way you feel. Instead of thinking, oh my friends, Mum, Dad, partner are so far away I’m here on my own, my thoughts wandered in the opposite direction. Hey you have a huge opportunity in front of you, there are so many things you can do, so many things to learn, so many things to see… use the time wisely and focus on yourself and your growth. I got the chance to either be grumpy and complain or to be happy and look at each day as an adventure… I choose to be happy. As it turned out, by being happy I made others happy as well, my HK boss used to say that my optimism and good mood spreads like a wildfire around the team… you know what, that felt good, like a wheel -> you happy -> you make others happy -> you happy that others are happy -> you happy and so on 😀 So when the time came to leave HK for me it was the saddest day since a very very long time coz it felt like leaving home… but even after coming back to Poland I’m still in touch with many of the fabulous people I met and I seriously do hope it will last.
You might be asking, so what?! Thing is that being comfortable, making peace with yourself and accepting YOU just the way you are at the present moment without bullying yourself constantly for things you are not or you don’t have, doesn’t happen from today to tomorrow. The longest relationship you will ever be in is with yourself hence it requires work as all relationships do, so don’t be so harsh on yourself plus be good and kind to yourself as only then when you are happy you can make others happy as well. Easy right 😉